u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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