You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
