i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
