i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
