Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
someone threw a dead crab at me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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