then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
