Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
