That's intense
Soap is not a condiment
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
