Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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