id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
