I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
