I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
