She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize