She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
