So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
