PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
