Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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