are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
