In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize