If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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