there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
