Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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