he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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