In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
