haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
