wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
