im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
