At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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