i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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