After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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