so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
