I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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