sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
