I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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