I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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