Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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