he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
