Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
