dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
