How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
