just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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