every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Quick, to the slutcave!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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