my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
