pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
