the day after is always just damage control
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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