; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
