porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His nipple licking is glorious
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