North Korea, Best Korea!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
