Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
two words: eviction party
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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