So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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