seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im calling her cock vulture from now on
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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