she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
