Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
