Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
