i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
