my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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