dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
