yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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