Will you blow on my dice?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
