he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Found the puke drawer
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize