What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
