Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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