I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize