it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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