Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize