i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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