love makes seman taste better
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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