Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
