i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
