he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
