Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
